Hey Emily, I have also read 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson and remember the chapter where he spoke about enjoying our moments in life that bring us happiness! I liked how you included this story on your home page as well as a little personal note about treating each other with kindness and compassion. This message is very important these days as the world around us is in chaos. It is important we keep others in our mind and look out for each other :) Regarding your introduction post, I really enjoyed the story of Ava and her willingness to put others before herself. Ava seems like someone who gives their time and energy to help others and appreciated the small moments in life. I would love to hear more about Ava's background an upbringing as well as her life struggles because they will give me a more holistic view to her personality and approach to life! Overall, this story was very relevant to the times we live in today and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Hi Emily!I clicked on your story because it was called "Epic Women" - that's incredible! Girl power! Also, I love the idea to incorporate COVID into your writing, as that is something that is very pressing in this moment and at the forefront of your readers' minds. Additionally, it will be interesting to look back on once this course is over to see how your feelings about COVID-related consequences were expressed in writing during the pandemic. Your story is a wonderful read, and the background music was a wonderful touch!! It added such a cool element to reading the story! I am a little confused on why there were two lines italicized in the beginning, but the rest of the quotes are in normal font. Is there a specific message that you're sending to the reader? Also, I would suggest reading back through and adding some commas where the sentences run a little bit. For example, the sentence "She just wanted to enjoy the stillness and as she lay there watching the ceiling she said one prayer to the same gods to please help the world if not for her then for the endless prayers of her friend" read like I was running out of breath a little bit. This could also be a cool stylistic approach, I just wanted to bring it to your attention if it wasn't already. Great job!!! :)Sincerely,Rachel
Hi Emily,I really like your idea to write about COVID and I'm so interested in seeing where it goes. Are the rest of your stories also going to center around Ava and Mrs. Anand, or will each one be about the conflicts that different people must surmount in different roles? It might also be cool to do different perspectives (e.g. shift to the patient's point of view?) I'm also interested in seeing how Indian Epics tie into this. I assume that the gods that Mrs. Anand prays to are those that we've been reading about? It would be really interesting to explore how the lessons you learn from their stories can be applied to real-life challenges or more broadly, the role of religion or culture in our response to a crisis. I'm really looking forward to reading more of these stories and seeing what other cool ideas you come up with!
Hi Emily,I am so so grateful for your mission to spread positivity and strength, especially during such a difficult time for many! That is such a wonderful idea and I'm really glad that you decided to focus your project on spread kindness and compassion, which is exactly what we all need right now. I also love the way you wrote your introduction, and how Ava is going through her own troubles, but when she drifts off to sleep, she wakes up to find a goddess! I'm really looking forward to reading your other stories about epic women. I feel like this story is one of the most relatable projects, and one that will sit close to many of our hearts. I think it would be awesome if your other stories follow the same storyline and show Ava growing to become more empowered by the goddesses she prays to. Again, I'm so glad you chose this topic in order to spread kindness and love with the stories of epic women!
Hey, Emily!I wanted to start off by saying that I really enjoyed the content matter of your story book. Often times, it can definitely feel like the women in the Ramayana and the Mahabharata are underrepresented and underdeveloped, so there is sorely a need for a collection of stories that could tell things from a different perspective. Just a couple of small notes: I really enjoyed how you implemented dialogue in the story involving Ava and Amman. It was also nice to see the anachronism between the goddess and the cell phone/electricity. It was much like a modern day application, which is great for contextualizing the belief in and worship of these gods, especially in modern pandemic times. One small piece of advice would be to reorient the music link so that it is aligned with where you want it to start. For example, if you want Track A to be listened while you read Story A, then place a link to Track A at the top of Story A. This way, the reader can pull up the soundtrack without having to pause their reading or go back and re-read. Cheers, Chris
Hello Emily,This story was definitely a fresh take on our projects. Your introduction was completely different from my own or other projects that I've been reading and it really got me hooked. I did question whether the story would be relevant to our course just off of introduction. The story, however, definitely put that doubt out of my mind. I really enjoyed the dialogues and the depth of character you gave to Ava. It was also very interesting to see the goddess's reaction to Ava's very realistic course of action after seeing an intruder in her home. Honestly don't have too much comment or feedback to make. I was thinking that maybe having some kind of foreshadowing to the goddess Amman in the introduction might convince some readers that this was relevant to Indian Epics from the very beginning. I'm looking forward to your next stories.