Hey Emily, I have also read 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson and remember the chapter where he spoke about enjoying our moments in life that bring us happiness! I liked how you included this story on your home page as well as a little personal note about treating each other with kindness and compassion. This message is very important these days as the world around us is in chaos. It is important we keep others in our mind and look out for each other :) Regarding your introduction post, I really enjoyed the story of Ava and her willingness to put others before herself. Ava seems like someone who gives their time and energy to help others and appreciated the small moments in life. I would love to hear more about Ava's background an upbringing as well as her life struggles because they will give me a more holistic view to her personality and approach to life! Overall, this story was very relevant to the times we live in today and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Hi Emily! I clicked on your story because it was called "Epic Women" - that's incredible! Girl power! Also, I love the idea to incorporate COVID into your writing, as that is something that is very pressing in this moment and at the forefront of your readers' minds. Additionally, it will be interesting to look back on once this course is over to see how your feelings about COVID-related consequences were expressed in writing during the pandemic. Your story is a wonderful read, and the background music was a wonderful touch!! It added such a cool element to reading the story! I am a little confused on why there were two lines italicized in the beginning, but the rest of the quotes are in normal font. Is there a specific message that you're sending to the reader? Also, I would suggest reading back through and adding some commas where the sentences run a little bit. For example, the sentence "She just wanted to enjoy the stillness and as she lay there watching the ceiling she said one prayer to the same gods to please help the world if not for her then for the endless prayers of her friend" read like I was running out of breath a little bit. This could also be a cool stylistic approach, I just wanted to bring it to your attention if it wasn't already. Great job!!! :) Sincerely, Rachel
Hi Emily, I really like your idea to write about COVID and I'm so interested in seeing where it goes. Are the rest of your stories also going to center around Ava and Mrs. Anand, or will each one be about the conflicts that different people must surmount in different roles? It might also be cool to do different perspectives (e.g. shift to the patient's point of view?) I'm also interested in seeing how Indian Epics tie into this. I assume that the gods that Mrs. Anand prays to are those that we've been reading about? It would be really interesting to explore how the lessons you learn from their stories can be applied to real-life challenges or more broadly, the role of religion or culture in our response to a crisis. I'm really looking forward to reading more of these stories and seeing what other cool ideas you come up with!
Hi Emily, I am so so grateful for your mission to spread positivity and strength, especially during such a difficult time for many! That is such a wonderful idea and I'm really glad that you decided to focus your project on spread kindness and compassion, which is exactly what we all need right now. I also love the way you wrote your introduction, and how Ava is going through her own troubles, but when she drifts off to sleep, she wakes up to find a goddess! I'm really looking forward to reading your other stories about epic women. I feel like this story is one of the most relatable projects, and one that will sit close to many of our hearts. I think it would be awesome if your other stories follow the same storyline and show Ava growing to become more empowered by the goddesses she prays to. Again, I'm so glad you chose this topic in order to spread kindness and love with the stories of epic women!
I wanted to start off by saying that I really enjoyed the content matter of your story book. Often times, it can definitely feel like the women in the Ramayana and the Mahabharata are underrepresented and underdeveloped, so there is sorely a need for a collection of stories that could tell things from a different perspective. Just a couple of small notes: I really enjoyed how you implemented dialogue in the story involving Ava and Amman. It was also nice to see the anachronism between the goddess and the cell phone/electricity. It was much like a modern day application, which is great for contextualizing the belief in and worship of these gods, especially in modern pandemic times.
One small piece of advice would be to reorient the music link so that it is aligned with where you want it to start. For example, if you want Track A to be listened while you read Story A, then place a link to Track A at the top of Story A. This way, the reader can pull up the soundtrack without having to pause their reading or go back and re-read.
Hello Emily, This story was definitely a fresh take on our projects. Your introduction was completely different from my own or other projects that I've been reading and it really got me hooked. I did question whether the story would be relevant to our course just off of introduction. The story, however, definitely put that doubt out of my mind. I really enjoyed the dialogues and the depth of character you gave to Ava. It was also very interesting to see the goddess's reaction to Ava's very realistic course of action after seeing an intruder in her home. Honestly don't have too much comment or feedback to make. I was thinking that maybe having some kind of foreshadowing to the goddess Amman in the introduction might convince some readers that this was relevant to Indian Epics from the very beginning. I'm looking forward to your next stories.
Hey Ava, I think it is really unique that you wrote a story for your introduction and I think it was a good choice because it is so personalized to your own life and your main goal to inspire kindness throughout your writing. This topic is different from others, which makes it super exciting to read; it felt was reading a movie script! I like how you are using your own name and personal experiences to interact with the characters of the women in the Ramayana and the Mahabharata because I feel like they deserve the recognition, often which they do not receive. I am so glad that you chose Amman as your first character because she symbolizes the natural features of mother nature, and she is greatly representing women throughout her character. Your words and incorporation of Amman were so empowering and I cannot wait to read more of your stories!
Hi Emily, I love the image choice that you used for Amman. The bright colors and designs complement the style and vibe that I get from the Indian epics and add to her beauty! It also catches the readers eye in the very beginning of the story. Even more, the image information is only Amman's name, which is a very great touch, as the reader is left wondering about her and therefore will go on and read more about the story. I would love to see an image in your introduction as well! I am a very visual person, so the more images and examples you have, the more that (I think) your stories are going to come to life. Finally, I love the backgrounds that you chose for your portfolio. They are simplistic and beautiful, and they add to a classical ambiance without distracting the reader. However, these could be great opportunities for image placement if you would like to add a scene or something. Great work!
Hey Emily, Your portfolio so far is really great. I’m a big fan of your header images, they are all very unique and definitely stand out. I think the image you used in Amman was really good too. The image really stands out and is the first thing I noticed on the page, you should do the same with the introduction. The header was great in the introduction but I think it lacks a good image to pop out on the page. Though, I would recommend you provide some sort of caption as to what the image is or portraying, especially in your story Amman. I think you do a really good job of using dialogue in your story. It was very well written and I think it does well in focusing on the goddess of contagion. Another recommendation is fleshing out more of where your story was derived in your author’s notes. So far your portfolio is really good, keep up the great work!
Hello Emily, you have chosen such a strong theme to stand for. The idea of showcasing strong roles in women is a great way to show creativity and uniqueness. You have built a portfolio with a meaning and that by itself is an accomplishment. Your introduction is straight to the point, which is great but I would suggest maybe adding some build up. I like how your introduction had some background music incorporated into it. This was a smart idea and it is always fun to see new and different things from other people. I very much enjoy a more interective route. I believe your introduction did a great job in serving as an opener for your first story. You most definetelye delivered as you promised and stated. Overall I would say did a great job and showed creativity in your writing. You are at a great start for your portfolio, I cannot wait to see the end results. Good luck with your other stories, I know they will be amazing.
Hi Emily! Your image choices seem to be a popular topic for good reason! They are quite beautiful and fit your theme well! Speaking of, I am a big fan of the theme you have chosen for your portfolio! It was incredibly creative of you to use something we are living through right now as inspiration. Your introduction was very creative as well! I haven’t seen one written in the form of a story before! The dialogue you’ve added between Ava and the goddesses really helped me get a feel for what would ultimately happen when you publish your last story. It’s really nice how you’ve given Ava what seems to be an average life, with the exception of having conversations with goddesses. Your stories have A Christmas Carol vibe to them, it’s especially apparent when the goddesses visit her individually. I really like it because it makes them feel really familiar. I am really excited to read what you publish next!
Hi Emily! I clicked on your story since I really liked the title and the theme of current events coming into play! I also used a similar idea to connecting COVID to a goddess, but I used a specific one that we've learned about in some of our readings. It's really cool to read other people's stories, especially if they have a similar idea to your own, just to see what direction they decided to take it also. I love the idea of trying to inspire hope and compassion, and your entire introduction was really cool. I love that you decided to base your project around emotions like that. Also, I really like the set-up of your portfolio. It's such a nice aesthetic, and it is so easy to navigate. Great job! I really enjoyed reading this story, and I loved that you had the goddesses visiting an individual, so we get a glimpse into the mindset of the other goddesses. This is such a creative idea, and I hope to be able to read more soon.
Hey, Emily! I’m writing from the Mythology and Folklore class! I enjoyed your stories and I liked how you incorporated the theme of goddesses into something real that we are all facing today. It’s very creative and makes your stories much more meaningful. This time allows us for self-reflection and the pandemic reminds us to be compassionate. On that note, your stories are well-written and very descriptive with great imagery. I could almost feel the pain and exhaustion that Ava was feeling, too. I thought your paragraph styles were executed well. It coincided with the pace of the story and it was easy to follow along. The breaks between each paragraph were done at the appropriate places. Also, there was a good balance of dialogue and story telling -- I like that you added breaks between the dialogue because it makes the conversation and story flow and read better. Overall, you did a wonderful job!
Hey Emily, I have also read 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson and remember the chapter where he spoke about enjoying our moments in life that bring us happiness! I liked how you included this story on your home page as well as a little personal note about treating each other with kindness and compassion. This message is very important these days as the world around us is in chaos. It is important we keep others in our mind and look out for each other :) Regarding your introduction post, I really enjoyed the story of Ava and her willingness to put others before herself. Ava seems like someone who gives their time and energy to help others and appreciated the small moments in life. I would love to hear more about Ava's background an upbringing as well as her life struggles because they will give me a more holistic view to her personality and approach to life! Overall, this story was very relevant to the times we live in today and I look forward to reading more of your work!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily!
ReplyDeleteI clicked on your story because it was called "Epic Women" - that's incredible! Girl power! Also, I love the idea to incorporate COVID into your writing, as that is something that is very pressing in this moment and at the forefront of your readers' minds. Additionally, it will be interesting to look back on once this course is over to see how your feelings about COVID-related consequences were expressed in writing during the pandemic. Your story is a wonderful read, and the background music was a wonderful touch!! It added such a cool element to reading the story! I am a little confused on why there were two lines italicized in the beginning, but the rest of the quotes are in normal font. Is there a specific message that you're sending to the reader? Also, I would suggest reading back through and adding some commas where the sentences run a little bit. For example, the sentence "She just wanted to enjoy the stillness and as she lay there watching the ceiling she said one prayer to the same gods to please help the world if not for her then for the endless prayers of her friend" read like I was running out of breath a little bit. This could also be a cool stylistic approach, I just wanted to bring it to your attention if it wasn't already. Great job!!! :)
Sincerely,
Rachel
Hi Emily,
ReplyDeleteI really like your idea to write about COVID and I'm so interested in seeing where it goes. Are the rest of your stories also going to center around Ava and Mrs. Anand, or will each one be about the conflicts that different people must surmount in different roles? It might also be cool to do different perspectives (e.g. shift to the patient's point of view?) I'm also interested in seeing how Indian Epics tie into this. I assume that the gods that Mrs. Anand prays to are those that we've been reading about? It would be really interesting to explore how the lessons you learn from their stories can be applied to real-life challenges or more broadly, the role of religion or culture in our response to a crisis. I'm really looking forward to reading more of these stories and seeing what other cool ideas you come up with!
Hi Emily,
ReplyDeleteI am so so grateful for your mission to spread positivity and strength, especially during such a difficult time for many! That is such a wonderful idea and I'm really glad that you decided to focus your project on spread kindness and compassion, which is exactly what we all need right now. I also love the way you wrote your introduction, and how Ava is going through her own troubles, but when she drifts off to sleep, she wakes up to find a goddess! I'm really looking forward to reading your other stories about epic women. I feel like this story is one of the most relatable projects, and one that will sit close to many of our hearts. I think it would be awesome if your other stories follow the same storyline and show Ava growing to become more empowered by the goddesses she prays to. Again, I'm so glad you chose this topic in order to spread kindness and love with the stories of epic women!
Hey, Emily!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to start off by saying that I really enjoyed the content matter of your story book. Often times, it can definitely feel like the women in the Ramayana and the Mahabharata are underrepresented and underdeveloped, so there is sorely a need for a collection of stories that could tell things from a different perspective. Just a couple of small notes: I really enjoyed how you implemented dialogue in the story involving Ava and Amman. It was also nice to see the anachronism between the goddess and the cell phone/electricity. It was much like a modern day application, which is great for contextualizing the belief in and worship of these gods, especially in modern pandemic times.
One small piece of advice would be to reorient the music link so that it is aligned with where you want it to start. For example, if you want Track A to be listened while you read Story A, then place a link to Track A at the top of Story A. This way, the reader can pull up the soundtrack without having to pause their reading or go back and re-read.
Cheers,
Chris
Hello Emily,
ReplyDeleteThis story was definitely a fresh take on our projects. Your introduction was completely different from my own or other projects that I've been reading and it really got me hooked. I did question whether the story would be relevant to our course just off of introduction. The story, however, definitely put that doubt out of my mind. I really enjoyed the dialogues and the depth of character you gave to Ava. It was also very interesting to see the goddess's reaction to Ava's very realistic course of action after seeing an intruder in her home. Honestly don't have too much comment or feedback to make. I was thinking that maybe having some kind of foreshadowing to the goddess Amman in the introduction might convince some readers that this was relevant to Indian Epics from the very beginning. I'm looking forward to your next stories.
Hey Ava, I think it is really unique that you wrote a story for your introduction and I think it was a good choice because it is so personalized to your own life and your main goal to inspire kindness throughout your writing. This topic is different from others, which makes it super exciting to read; it felt was reading a movie script! I like how you are using your own name and personal experiences to interact with the characters of the women in the Ramayana and the Mahabharata because I feel like they deserve the recognition, often which they do not receive. I am so glad that you chose Amman as your first character because she symbolizes the natural features of mother nature, and she is greatly representing women throughout her character. Your words and incorporation of Amman were so empowering and I cannot wait to read more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily,
ReplyDeleteI love the image choice that you used for Amman. The bright colors and designs complement the style and vibe that I get from the Indian epics and add to her beauty! It also catches the readers eye in the very beginning of the story. Even more, the image information is only Amman's name, which is a very great touch, as the reader is left wondering about her and therefore will go on and read more about the story. I would love to see an image in your introduction as well! I am a very visual person, so the more images and examples you have, the more that (I think) your stories are going to come to life. Finally, I love the backgrounds that you chose for your portfolio. They are simplistic and beautiful, and they add to a classical ambiance without distracting the reader. However, these could be great opportunities for image placement if you would like to add a scene or something. Great work!
Hey Emily,
ReplyDeleteYour portfolio so far is really great. I’m a big fan of your header images, they are all very unique and definitely stand out. I think the image you used in Amman was really good too. The image really stands out and is the first thing I noticed on the page, you should do the same with the introduction. The header was great in the introduction but I think it lacks a good image to pop out on the page. Though, I would recommend you provide some sort of caption as to what the image is or portraying, especially in your story Amman. I think you do a really good job of using dialogue in your story. It was very well written and I think it does well in focusing on the goddess of contagion. Another recommendation is fleshing out more of where your story was derived in your author’s notes. So far your portfolio is really good, keep up the great work!
Hello Emily, you have chosen such a strong theme to stand for. The idea of showcasing strong roles in women is a great way to show creativity and uniqueness. You have built a portfolio with a meaning and that by itself is an accomplishment. Your introduction is straight to the point, which is great but I would suggest maybe adding some build up. I like how your introduction had some background music incorporated into it. This was a smart idea and it is always fun to see new and different things from other people. I very much enjoy a more interective route. I believe your introduction did a great job in serving as an opener for your first story. You most definetelye delivered as you promised and stated. Overall I would say did a great job and showed creativity in your writing. You are at a great start for your portfolio, I cannot wait to see the end results. Good luck with your other stories, I know they will be amazing.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily!
ReplyDeleteYour image choices seem to be a popular topic for good reason! They are quite beautiful and fit your theme well! Speaking of, I am a big fan of the theme you have chosen for your portfolio! It was incredibly creative of you to use something we are living through right now as inspiration. Your introduction was very creative as well! I haven’t seen one written in the form of a story before! The dialogue you’ve added between Ava and the goddesses really helped me get a feel for what would ultimately happen when you publish your last story. It’s really nice how you’ve given Ava what seems to be an average life, with the exception of having conversations with goddesses. Your stories have A Christmas Carol vibe to them, it’s especially apparent when the goddesses visit her individually. I really like it because it makes them feel really familiar. I am really excited to read what you publish next!
Hi Emily! I clicked on your story since I really liked the title and the theme of current events coming into play! I also used a similar idea to connecting COVID to a goddess, but I used a specific one that we've learned about in some of our readings. It's really cool to read other people's stories, especially if they have a similar idea to your own, just to see what direction they decided to take it also. I love the idea of trying to inspire hope and compassion, and your entire introduction was really cool. I love that you decided to base your project around emotions like that. Also, I really like the set-up of your portfolio. It's such a nice aesthetic, and it is so easy to navigate. Great job! I really enjoyed reading this story, and I loved that you had the goddesses visiting an individual, so we get a glimpse into the mindset of the other goddesses. This is such a creative idea, and I hope to be able to read more soon.
ReplyDeleteHey, Emily! I’m writing from the Mythology and Folklore class!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your stories and I liked how you incorporated the theme of goddesses into something real that we are all facing today. It’s very creative and makes your stories much more meaningful. This time allows us for self-reflection and the pandemic reminds us to be compassionate. On that note, your stories are well-written and very descriptive with great imagery. I could almost feel the pain and exhaustion that Ava was feeling, too. I thought your paragraph styles were executed well. It coincided with the pace of the story and it was easy to follow along. The breaks between each paragraph were done at the appropriate places. Also, there was a good balance of dialogue and story telling -- I like that you added breaks between the dialogue because it makes the conversation and story flow and read better. Overall, you did a wonderful job!
Soriyana :)